Let’s start out with a little thought exercise. Take a minute and think about someone who has really pissed you off lately. Maybe your boss is psycho. Maybe your neighbor’s dog barks all night and WON’T SHUT THE HELL UP. Maybe your ex just got engaged and won’t stop posting adorable pics on Instagram.
Now imagine them — and all of their belongings — covered in glitter.
The founders ofthink so, as they've launched a site that promises to facilitate shiny, sparkly revenge worldwide.
The service costs $9.99 (in Australian dollars) and promises to send an envelope of glitter complete with a note explaining what the asshole did wrong, in order to ensure “maximum spillage.” That’s it, the whole service: a sparkly mess of a package guaranteed to wreck someone’s day and make you feel like an evil genius. And if you're wondering if this thing is for real, the FAQ section has the answer for you: "Is this for real?" "Yes you fucking idiot. We spent too much time, money & resources putting this shit hole of a website up to not get paid for it." And there you have it.
Now, if you’re thinking, “That doesn’t sound too bad! Glitter is pretty!” remember that comedian Demetri Martin has aptly described glitter as “” because once you have it, you can never get rid of it. It sticks to everything it touches; it’s incredibly transferable; and it spreads to cracks and crevices you didn’t even know you had. Just ask any Burner or drag queen — the shit is lethal.
If glitter is the herpes of the craft world, then Ship Your Enemies Glitter is the HPV of the internet. The site has been intermittently down all day as news of it has spread virally from to to to more mainstream mags like ours. There’s just something so appealing about the combination of SYEG's fuck-you attitude on the site and the image of people we hate (or even, lets be real, friends that we like to fuck with) covered in glitter. It’s almost impossible not to love.
So take a minute and think: who’s on your shit list today? Wouldn’t they look better in glitter?
Image via Flickr user, Frankieleon
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