Hey boys and girls, are you tired of swiping through all of the uggos and poors on Tinder every day? Wouldn’t you rather know that your potential location-based hookup is def going to be hot and rich? Time to join Luxy!
For those of you who don’t make at least $200,000 a year and therefore don’t qualify for this dating service anyway, Luxy is a new dating app that is actively advertising itself as “Tinder without the poor people.” Unlike those other dating apps that waste your time with all that “riff raff,” Luxy is only available to rich hotties, namely, as the iTunes description reads, "CEOs, hot super models, entrepreneurs, investors, beauty queens, Hollywood celebrities, doctors, lawyers, millionaires, and so on."
But how will they determine who qualifies, you ask? Considering the fact that the app is free, there’s clearly no major barrier to entry. I mean, basically any rando off the street could just hit the download button; it’s not like there are bouncers making sure only the cream of the crop gets in. Instead, CNN reports that Luxy asks users to list their class-appropriate hobbies and then name their five favorite luxury brand names. Because, you know, a taste for Gucci is a clear and obvious sign of wealth and class.
As an extra precaution, Luxy encourages its user to post photos of them doing rich people things – you know, like playing polo or spitting on servants. They’ll even let you cross post them to Twitter or Facebook, complete with the hashtag #luxurymoments. Any shots of you with your latest thrift shop find is immediate cause for getting booted from the club - unless, of course, Macklemore is in the pic with you.
While some people have questioned whether Luxy is a hoax (because there’s no way this can be real, right?), the PR guy whose name will now be forever attached with the douchiest press release I’ve ever read insists that it’s real - and that they already have 3,000 members. If you’re like me and most of the rest of the unwashed masses, please join me in saying: Good riddance. We won’t miss you on Tinder.
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