You’ve probably heard what they say about guys with large feet. Yep, they wear big shoes. And they have equally large hands. (Wouldn’t it be so weird to see a dude with huge feet but TINY doll-like hands?!) We’re going to go out on a limb here (haha!) and say that both of these statements are probably true. But what about their peens? Is there any correlation between shoe size and penis length? We – two women – at The Bold Italic were curious, and since it’s anonymous week, we thought, “Hey, why don’t we ask men to anonymously tell us their shoe size and erect/unerect penis length*? They’ll be honest if they don’t have to give their identity, right?”

WRONG.

We’re going to call bullshit on some of the answers. Apologies if there really is a man out there with a size 1 shoe and a one-incher (both erect and unerect). We guess it's also possible that The Bold Italic just has some really well-endowed readers. If that's true, well wow, we’re kinda scared for the women and men who love you (we’re talking mostly to you, Mr. Size 17 shoe).

True or not, we were so fascinated, amused, and horrified by the survey answers that we decided to visualize our results… using sausages. The animated gif below shows the average length of unerect and erect penises to corresponding shoe size of the men who participated in our survey. Size 10 and 10 1/2 were the most common shoe sizes in our sample.

It was during this very scientific process that we came to three main conclusions from our data sampling of under 100 men:

Most men are growers, not show-ers. The inches of difference between flaccid and aroused genitalia were astounding.

Large sneakers do not a porn star make. Most of the men who claimed to be endowed eight inches or more in their fullest glory were not the size 12 or 14 shoe wearer. The lone size 7 was larger than two dudes who wore sizes 12 and 13 shoes.

Sausages make really funny stand-ins for penises.

There were a few individual entries in our survey that made us take notice. For example, these two samples below. The guy on the left wears a size 8 1/2 shoe and the dude on the right wears a size 13, yet both their erect and unerect wieners were almost exactly the same. Dick twinsies!

On the other hand, we had these two men below, who wore the same shoe size, but had drastically different penis details.

The variety of growth differential was also pretty interesting. Some guys, like the size 10 below, are pretty much WYSIWG. Others, like the size 13 on the right, can more than double their length at full potential. A true growth spurt.

So, is there a real correlation between shoe size and penis length? Probably not. And honestly, we don’t care if there is. We love that there's a variety of equipment out there. As long as they're functional, there's a place (and a person) for them all.

Now, excuse us while we fire up the Foreman and grill up some lunch.

*A male TBI staffer pointed out that girth is what actually matters. True, but the common saying about shoe size is mostly about length, right?

This story is part of our week-long anonymous package. To learn about all the juicy secrets being revealed this week, go here.